This month's edition of Player Feature seeks to introduce Inglewood's very own. Here, we are also out to dispel a myth, that Dian has 4 lungs. Well I can assure you, there is absolutely no truth in that, and we can prove it.
Dian doesn't have 4 lungs...
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. He's got 4 legs!
Player Profile:
Dian, Centaur, 8ft6in, 12 stones, 0-100kmh in 6s
That's right. Dian's gameplay is simple - "I'll out-run you and outlast out-running you". Leading out Inglewood's counter-attacks, he surges forward on all 4s, past midfield, past forwards, sometimes dribbling all the way out for a goal kick - possibly leading the entire opponent team on a wild goose (or horse) chase all the way back to defend, buying Inglewood's tired legs much needed rest time. Descendent of the legendary Centaur, he is 1/2 man, 1/2 horse, 100% Dian.
OJ managed to saddle Dian down for an interview. It's quite a mouthful, but to get the full experience, please read out loud:
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha Yishun hahaMmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Mmmmmmmmmbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... MmmmBBBBrrrrr NTUC Foodfair heee hahaha... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha hahaMmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Mmmmmmmmmbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... MmmmBBBBrrrrr ACL heee haaa...
MmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha Bryan Robson, Jorge Campos, Little Juninho and Javier Zanetti. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha MmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Middlesbrough MmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee haWWF MmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... MmmmmmmmBBBrrrrMmmmmmmmBBBrrrr Africa Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee haah! Heeeeeee ha MmmmmmmmBBBrrrr... Fc Inglewood.
Hoof,
~Dian"
For the benefit of our human readers, please find the English version below:
"Ok boss heres my write up...
I have been staying in Yishun for the past 23 years, currently working in NTUC Foodfare doing some accounting stuff.
I started out playing football as a goalkeeper until my height became a concern. During poly, I started playing as a winger/cm and was enjoying myself until a basketball player's two footed challenge torn my ACL. I was out of football for about 1 year, came back and realise I had turn into a rubbish rubbish player. I switched to defence where I pretty much do nothing but run, plus doing my utmost to injure myself. My favorite players include Bryan Robson, Jorge Campos, Little Juninho and Javier Zanetti.
I have been a supporter of Middlesbrough for the last 13 years. I like the idea of a small poor town having a football team that belongs to the community. I believe that is how football clubs should be, unfortunately my belief has made me endure years of watching rubbish football.
I spend my time at home rearing fishes, gardening and playing with my parrots. I enjoy watching animal channel, national geographic while drinking Chinese tea. Honestly, I was born into the wrong era, I would be happier if I was living during the kampong days.
I have nothing much special except maybe my collection of football injuries, classics include goal post falling on my head, diving into the goal post, having my elbow sticking out after sliding to clear the ball off the line,hahaa, in short I am lucky to be alive. 
My dream is to one day work for WWF and disappear to Africa to be with animals until then I should be playing for Fc Inglewood.
Up the Boro!!!"
~Dian
Go for the Intercontinental Championship Belt~!
